A Sad Memorial Day

It's sitting untouched
Unused, unwanted, unloved
My lonely smoker

Gambling Used For Good Instead Of Evil

Is you room clean? ... Yeah
Do you want to bet five bucks?
Let me go finish

Late March In Michigan

Easter's upon us
Hockey Playoffs, Final Four
And snow is falling

I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means

I'm so over it
When you hear people say that
It means they are not

Mother Nature

The snow is falling
No big game party for me
Mother Nature, bitch.

New Year's Resolutions

My resolutions
Always result in failure
I will not bother

My Feelings About Health Insurers Right Now

I want to hunt you
Find you, trap you and kill you
And bathe in your blood

Winter Is Coming

Some snow has fallen
Coughing, hacking and sneezing
Dirty tissue piles

Michigan Football

Miserable fans
Mostly empty stadium
Why bother going?

Butt

Ass, pooper, keister
Derriere, seat, rump, bottom
Tush, dupa, hiney

Things You Don't Normally Think About

Chemical warfare
Poodle farts and bunny cum
Apes throwing their poo

Another Word That Has Lost Its Meaning

People will say this
When they don't agree with you
Unamerican

Unfulfilled Desire

I want you badly
But I know I can't have you
I'm on a diet

Luke Skywalker

Starry eyed farm boy
He kissed his princess sister
And killed his father

On Being A Software Developer

You see the problems
Take a look with user's eyes
You have done great things

Midwest Literary Walk Reading

I'll be at the open mike at the River Gallery in downtown chelsea today at 2 pm

Life is Like Poker

Life is like poker
You can make the right choices
And you may still lose

How to tell if something is REALLY important

Is it important?
Would you poop your pants for it?
No, probably not.

You Don't Learn This Stuff In School

Twelve is twenty-four
Six is nine, eight equals twelve
Toilet paper math

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

THUD! OW! You okay?
The boy jumped onto the ice
And then he fell down