Landscapers

He mounts his mower
Leaf blower at the ready
Landscape Warrior

Guitar Playing

Fingers flying fast
Run up and down the fretboard
Loud sonic thunder

Refreshing Beverage

She has a craving
Give her some Dicken's Cider
She'll thank you for it

Homophones

Look! Their dogs. They're there.
Let's meet to mete out the meat.
Pare a pair of pears.

Pears

Silky in my mouth
Sweet juice running down my chin
Pears are delicious

Jerky

O salty meat stick
I like to put in my mouth
Beef jerky, yummy!

Groundhog Day

It's a big rodent
He's a crappy weatherman
Slaughter the groundhog

Bacon

I can't get enough
Salty delight in my mouth
Bacon I love you

I Would Have Left Immediately

Get out of the house
See it dripping down the walls
There is so much blood

Helping Your Opponents (Loosen Up)

Just sat down to play
A player just lost a pot
Buy that man a drink

How To Lose Money In Poker

It's six-four suited
Somebody won with that once
I'll call the re-raise

Preflop Play

Look at your two cards
Hope they are big or a pair
You will fold most hands

At The Poker Table

The shuffling of chips
Two cards tossed into the muck
Folding is frequent

Stop Trying To Be Smart

I type an email
First letter's made capital
I hate you Outlook